Consent & Contra

9/23/2012

Found this flow chart by Ron T. Blechner on Facebook. He is a "pro-twirl" contra dancer from New Jersey. I think this sums up the whole "don't be a jerk" mantra rather nicely:

Flow chart: Contra Gent's Dilemma, to twirl or not to twirl?

From http://tinyurl.com/9qfojy7; by Ron T. Blechner

I think this is brilliant (although I quibble somewhat with the idea that it's only a gents' dilemma, as I face it too when I dance the role that ends up on the left after a swing, and I'm most definitely not a "gent" even when I am dancing that role).

And I especially love that he mentions the facts that 1) having an offer of a flourish refused is not the end of the world, and 2) if you do flourish, be careful and be on time. Some people love flourishes; some don't; and some normally love them but don't right that second (for whatever reason -- tired, dizzy, cranky because of other stuff, just plain don't want to) and ALL of those stances should be respected.

Kelly

9/24/2012 10:41:18 pm

I would quibble with the path 'Never twirl a neighbor unless you've seen them be twirled or know them well.' It is possible to suggest a gentle flourish with a neighbor and have it go off swimmingly, or be refused politely.

Perry

9/29/2012 05:53:57 am

I still have problems with using the terms "lead" and "follow" in contra dance since it is a community dance, not a couples dance. It is not a lead/follow dance. In contra, the terms "gents" and "ladies" refer to roles, not necessarily actual physical gender. So if you are playing the gent's role, you are indeed a "contra gent".

Ryan (blogger) link

9/29/2012 12:40:05 pm

Perry, we've been through this before a few times. You are of course entitled to your opinion. I am entitled to disagree.

I am still rather convinced that one of the reasons more men don't dance the role that ends up on the right at the end of a swing is because it's called the "lady's" role, and to a lesser degree the reason more women don't dance the role that ends up on the left regularly is because they're "supposed" to dance the "ladies'" role. And I am equally convinced that both gents and ladies would be better dancers if they danced the"other" role more often, and that many are discouraged from doing so due to the nomenclature (even if not on a conscious level). For that matter,it also might discourage some heterosexually-inclined male creepers because dancing the "gents'" role would not guarantee that you only get ladies in your arms for every swing.

It is a community dance; any member can take any role, and in my opinion weighing it down with gendered language,while traditional, is rather unhelpful (much like calling 1'sand 2's "actives" and "inactives" in a balanced dance where being a 1 or a 2 doesn't affect how much you dance, per the choreography). Just as you are entitled to your opinion, I am entitled to mine. When you start up your contra blog, you may of course quibble with whatever nomenclature you wish. :-)

bob

11/26/2012 06:09:29 am

Andrew calls with "Ls"(left, lead, gent) and "Rs"(right, follow, lady) which I think solves both your problems and I wish more people would do.

Ryan (blogger) link

11/26/2012 07:51:00 am

Bob,

To which Andrew do you refer (last name/location)?

I am intrigued by the L/R nomenclature (although I wonder if some folks might take "L" to mean "lady").

Do tell! :)

bob

11/26/2012 08:50:04 am

Andrew Heintz lives in NC, I don't think he has called outside of our group of friends.

when I started I associated L with lead but I could see some(or a lot) people being confused. The cool part about it is that Rs go on the right and Ls go on the left, which can help you remember how to end the swing.

Andrew Heintz link

11/26/2012 11:27:42 am

Hi Ryan! Bob said that y'all were talking about me so I figured I'd pop my head in and see what was going on. I've loved y'all's site and flourishes for a while now! I dance in Carrboro (and was in Asheville the first part of this year).

I don't call much. Just for friends mostly, but I've found L and R to work really well. I don't wanna hijack this thread, but you're welcome to email me or open another appropriate thread if you'd like to talk about considerations for nomenclature. I don't know if the blog lets you see my email, but it's andrewjheintz@gmail.com.

online tech help link

8/21/2013 09:29:54 pm

So, in total, “don't be a jerk”.! That’s all. Blechner took some effort to make this block chart. I appreciate his efforts. I should say, its really brilliant one! I will keep this in mind, when I dance with a girl next time!

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