I recently had a conversation with a dance gypsy from New Jersey, and in the course of our chat I told him about an experience Steve and I had where we experienced cliquishness at a regional dance in another state. Both of us were having a lot of trouble finding partners (and being refused flatly when we asked around if people would like to dance, which was weird since several people stopped us and complimented us on this site and our YouTube videos that night, so I don't think it was a "common denominator" issue), to the point that by the last set we gave up and just enjoyed the music on the sidelines, and that wasn't the first time I'd danced there and had that problem, which was really concerning.
The Jersey dancer I talked to suggested two things: 1) that we not judge the community in question based on an event crowd (although, he admitted, it's kind of cliquey on regular nights too), and 2) that I give that community two more tries before I gave up (for a total of four). Okay, I can do that. They won't be four in a row, but he seemed to be under the impression that four was the magic number.
Which actually begs a question -- how many dances do you give a community that's cliquish before you give up? Does it matter if you're there for an event/weekend or a regular dance? Speaking to Jeff's point, does the exclusivity make you want to be accepted by the community, or is it a real turn-off? If the latter, how might we as a broad community fix that?